Tonight has been a pretty good night I've had the privilege to talk to some really chill girls but alas none of them are for me you know what I'm saying? In turn this really fuckin sucks cause it makes me come off as a player.. I don't consider myself a player but I guess in a way I am. Shit whatever I embrace it, might as well get use to what I am. Don't get me wrong I want to find that one girl that makes me want to be someone different. I had that you know, A long time ago now but I had it.. I miss it ya know? I was a good guy i treated her with respect and i did practically everything and anything for her and what did I get in return? Heartache. She really fucked me up in the head so i have renounced this so called feeling, love.
Can you really blame me? Like shit put yourself in my shoes the first time you actually let someone into your heart and really truly care about someone the turn around and stab you in the back in one of the shittiest ways possible. Yes I don't like who I am but fuck what am I suppose to do? Try again? Fuck THAT! Shakespeare once said " It was better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all." that is complete bullshit! Sure being in love was great, amazing even but the pain that followed.. it was practically unbearable. I guess I'm destined to be the Barney Stenson of my generation at least until I find that girl that changes everything.. but everyday I'm losing more and more faith that there even is a girl like that. Prove me wrong?.. I dare you.
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